Moving Onward
Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 6:52AM It was a day I’ll never forget…standing midway up the stairs looking down at my wife as she’s scrambling to leave with the kids as she takes them to school before heading to her part-time job. The night before we’d shared glasses of white wine and agreed one hundred percent – given the decision before us, I’d stay with the job. But in that brief moment…in my heart of hearts I knew it was wrong, and I know she did too…..
Last Tuesday I was given an option at my job. Take half your pay beginning December 1, or be fired and take three months of your full pay and benefits through February.
My daughter had just finished two days in the hospital fighting H1N1. The next day my son came down with H1N1. Two days later my wife came down with H1N1. Three days later all was well and it was my first time being able to actually deal with the reality of the decision before me. Before us.
A friend of mine who I respect fully called late Sunday night and dropped all kinds of entrepreneurial motivational words my way. They were sincere….they made me think and dream about what could be. Quite honestly it’s that euphoria time in your life where your chest gets filled with air and you think – “fuck yeah I can do that…I totally can do that!!!” But then that child screams, and the wife asks for help, discussions of bills fill legal pads, and reality creeps through every weakness you never knew you had.
We went to bed knowing I would remain in my job, despite half the pay, despite the slam to my ego having to walk in day-to-day knowing that everyone and board members knew what had happened. Knowing I was now a dying blip on the budget.
Then I woke up….and I knew what to do. I agonized, I talked with the wifey, I called multiple people, I stood outside Union Station freezing my hands off holding the phone and making sure I could hear every opinion from every person I respected….and then I knew. It was time to just leave.
In twelve years since I’ve graduated college I’ve never NOT worked. I’ve in fact been consistently rewarded for my work. I’ve been given raises, praises, and opportunities that I felt I’ve grasped. We’ve moved from mill house, to larger house, to a larger city. And yet…..I haven’t stopped to really understand my fortune.
For the past three nights, my family has sat at the table, together, eating dinner. That hasn’t happened in days. Last night, we had “game night.” First time in a few weeks.
I laid in bed with my seven-year-old son….and told him what happened. It was a huge stretch…but I’ve always been honest with him.
“So, are you upset daddy lost his job? Cause it’s OK, but I want you to know how lucky daddy is that he’s going to get a paycheck for the new few months.”
“Yes, but I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
“I want you to scream it to the world, cause maybe that’ll help me land a job, my man.”
“OK”
“But in the meantime, you know what’s killer about this?”
“What”
“I’m gonna roll-up every day at 2:45 at your school with….the kickball. At least till it snows, then we’re going home.”
I’m a lucky lucky bastard. I talked to my best friend tonight and found out his wifey lost her job a month or so ago. I never knew. She’s no different than the thousands around the country. Some have no kids, others have many. Some got severance, others didn’t. Some are ashamed…..hell, we’re all ashamed. Some are about to find out a week before Christmas….some won’t have a Christmas.
Today I was put in my fucking place. Today I became a statistic. Today I was given a huge opportunity. Today it’s up to me to figure out tomorrow….
Reader Comments (36)
BRAVO!!!! Good for you for taking that step and doing what was in the best interest of your family. I applaud you and your character. I'll send you good juju for finding a new job. In the meantime, enjoy those awesome moments with your family. :D
Very brave decision. The economy will definitely turn around and just think, you get to search for a job and get paid for it till Feburary! I know you will find something awesome!
Good for you! If you accepted only half your salary you are basically saying that's all you're worth. When the economy gets better there's no reason for your employer to increase your salary because they already know you'd work for less. You know you're worth more than that and you made the right choice.
Years back my wife and I were buying our first home. I lost my job the morning we had to go to the bank to sign the mortgage. For some reason I wasn't worried; probably because I know I have skills and can get another job.
About a month ago I lost my current job, and like you, was given salary continuation until the beginning of February. I'm not worried in the least; things might get tough for a while, but right now I'm given the opportunity to essentially be paid to spend time with my kids. This opportunity may never come again so I'm going to enjoy it while I can. I hope you do the same.
Hey, maybe you could just get a Snuggie and get cozy on the couch and watch some TV :)
I'm glad you followed up with what you decided to do but I'm more glad that you decided to leave. I have been thinking of you often since you posted about your predicament. Let me tell you from experience, it is scary taking a big leap like that, but It will be worth it. Just don't wait to start looking for another job and/or deciding to open your own business. There are opportunities out there and some may try to scare you even more by saying how it took them a year to find another job etc. Be a bulldog! Go get what you want! You can do it! I had my business open 3 months after I decided to do it. I did it myself, I did it with no help, and I'm doing all right. You will be all right too.
Honestly, there is nothing to be ashamed of. So many people- good, hard working people- are coming to these decisions every day. It sucks but it's the reality that's out there right now. Keep your head up and enjoy this time with your family while you look for a new job!
Best of luck!
I am sorry you guys are faced with this. You guys will be okay because you have each other and I know that's corny to say but it's true. No matter what happens or where this new road takes you or how many adjustments you'll have to make it will be okay because you'll go through it all together...that's what makes family so awesome.
I hear ya, I was laid off in June. And while the unknown territory made me nervous at first, it was also that same territory that had me totally stoked! Good luck to you!
Kudos to you! You are one tough bastard and I have total faith that you will land on your feet and probably in a better place. Keep kicking ass. If you need something, don't be scared to ask. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of briallance. Hugs to you and the family. Lisa :)
Damn. All I can say is damn, I can totally relate and you put it so eloquently in words. Be cool my friend.
Yep, onward and upward - no looking back. Wishing you the best.
wow. another amazing post. from an outside perspective... it really seems like you made the best decision for you and your family. i can only believe that down the road you will see all of the trails this blazed for you. congrats. looking forward to reading all that comes your way.
These times are bad. After trying to keep up with your status, my business partner dropped a bomb on me Monday. Seems one of our clients made him a job offer he could not turn down. Great for him, the pits for me. I do not blame him at all. But !! His leaving makes me the last man standing in our company. One person to cover all the overhead and cost of doing business with 2 part time and one full time employees. Business sucks because of the state of our country's financial mess. Now I am faced with trying to bring someone in as a second partner or close the doors on a business that I have spent 26 years building. I have 30 days before pulling the plug.
Hang in there Justin, you are not alone.
Thank you for sharing this. So many bloggers are writing about losing their jobs one wonders when the bleeding will end. I wish you luck and hope that, as my MIL says, "When God closes a door, he opens a window". I think that means "something good can come of this...God won't leave you hanging". Good luck!!
My husband went through the same thing shortly after our first child was born. Once he was over the shock (and bitterness) we had the best time. While looking for a job he was able to spend time with our son and share moments he would never have had the opportunity to otherwise. 5 years later and he still talks about how incredible that time was. I wish you all the best finding a new job and hope you have fun sharing in all the family moments along the way.
Your kids will remember this for years, and for all the right reasons. You are there for them and they will love you for it.
Just be a parent for now. Don't freak about the lack of job security or income. The kids would rather be broke and have you around than be rich and not know you. I speak from experience here. It would have been nice if my dad had actually spent time with us and been a "dad" instead of having been (as we all eulogized at his recent funeral) "such a good provider."
I'm a very new reader of your blog (and I've been enjoying it immensely). I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you were faced with this choice. I was unexpectedly laid off in June of this year. I was added the long list of jobless folks before me and unfortunately, as you know, the list continues to grow.
Being unemployed has been the hardest time of my life. This month marks my 6th month of job hunting. My job loss is actually what started me blogging. I had sooo much free time on my hands and I was so frustrated, pissed & depressed, that I had to share stories about wearing my pajamas all day, my new found insomnia and my ever-growing muffin top. So I started an unemployment blog called Active Leisure and that blog grew into another blog focused on funny things about my marriage.
Blogging has really helped to keep me sane.. so you are already ahead of the game!
Best of luck to you!!